Joanne Goldstein estimates spending $1,500 on her oldest daughter's senior prom in 2004. She cringes at that figure, saying that in many parts of the Lower Hudson Valley the amount of money spent on the prom is out of control.
That is higher than the national average. This year prom-going couples will spend between $1,000 and $1,200, according to promspot.com, an offshoot of the wedding site theknot.com.
In terms of its importance and cost, the prom has taken on the air of a wedding rather than a simple teenage right of passage. Like a bride, many girls go for hair consultations to test their chosen style. Some dye their shoes to perfectly replicate the color of their dresses — something most bridesmaids only grudglingly agree to. (Goldstein's daughter did it to match her bright blue dress.)
"(The) prom was very important to my daughter but (spending that much money) would not have been my choice," says Goldstein, of Armonk. "I sincerely believe as parents that we go overboard. It's part of the culture of where we live. All of the girls feed off of each other."
As another blogger aptly put it, this must have been what Rome looked like towards the end. If these things are so valuable to these girls, I fear for my children.
One other pet peeve of mine: it is the prom, not simply prom. Ones says "I am looking forward to the prom, " not "I am looking forward to prom." Just my two cents.
So what's the concern here?
It's their money; why can't they spend it how the see fit?
Sure, I know it's ridiculous to spend $1,500 on prom, but there are plenty of other stupid things people spend money on. And the world hasn't ended yet.
It's like I told my little cousin when we went to the New York Auto Show: if you can afford the Ferrari who cares if you buy it?
Same principle applies here, I think.
Posted by: Dave | April 29, 2006 at 10:19 PM
Difference is, presumably, if you buy a Ferrari it's because you want one. The spending Phil is referring to has less to do with choice and more to do with social pressure. Plus, if the kids want to spend their money on the prom, they can. As long as they get a job, it sounds fine to me. Then it really might be their choice.
Posted by: Jack Altmiller | April 30, 2006 at 09:51 AM
Parents teach their kids about priorities. If the parents' priorities are for transient pleasures, that's what the next generation will treasure. Parents can teach their children to choose wisely by making wise choices to begin with..
Posted by: St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse | April 30, 2006 at 01:28 PM
Phil & I handled prom in a most cost-effective manner back in 1985 - gave our dates 40-oz bottles of St. Ides from Ralph's deli in the hope that we'd get lucky.
Oh. And we parodied a David Lee Roth song for them in the limo. Good times.
Nice to finally see a post. Sure hope Phil enjoyed all that downtime....
Posted by: Oates | May 01, 2006 at 12:36 PM
I have hosted 5 exchange students now and for four of them the prom was a huge deal. They don't have anything like it in their own country and it is such an American teenage rite of passage that they feel they have missed out on a huge thing if they don't go. Finding the right dress, agonizing over whether or not a boy is going to ask you. These are all things that I remember from my senior year, which was more years ago than I care to remember or admit. This year I am a little worried about a new thing. Prom has also become the accepted "first time for sex date", and for the first time I have a girl going with a guy that she actually likes and not just a friend. I won't deny that I'm a little concerned. My girl has a very good head on her shoulders and more self respect then I ever had at her age. Still, it's hard not to worry. Plus there is the drinking and everything else that goes along with it. I just worry about the kids being disappointed. This has been built up into a be-all, end-all kind of thing. It isn't the prom anymore, it is PROM.
Posted by: Siobhan | May 03, 2006 at 01:42 PM
Well, Dinah has just left for her prom. Here's hoping that she has a safe and wonderful time. Safe, of course, being the operative word. I want to have a good time and come home in one piece. Any and all prayers and good wishes, are greatly appreciated.
Posted by: Siobhan | May 26, 2006 at 07:41 PM