Proms & the Culture War

Two Catholic high schools have canceled their respective proms out of concern for how decadent and contrary to Catholic teaching they are perceived to be.

Underlying the concern seems to be a widespread uncertainty about the coming-of-age ritual embodied in the modern prom - the $500 to $1,000 spent on dress, limo and parties before and after the actual event. It has become not uncommon for parents to sign leases for houses, where couples room together, for post-prom weekend events or for parents to authorize boat excursions in which under-age drinking is not just winked at but expected.

Trumping it all, of course, is the uncertainty about sex.

"Common parlance tells us that this is a time to lose one's virginity," Brother Hoagland and other administrators of Kellenberg High wrote in a letter to parents in March, warning them that the prom might be canceled unless parents stopped financing what, in effect, the school considered bacchanals. "It is a time of heightened sexuality in a culture of anything goes," the letter added. "The prom has become a sexual focal point. This is supposed to be a dance, not a honeymoon."

A few observations...

• If it is just occurring to school officials that prom night is "first home run night" they are atrociously out of touch with things. My senior prom was 1985 and it was a common expectation back then too. So much so that when one was asked who they were taking to the prom, they were quick to clarify whether it was "that" kind of date or the "other" kind. This was a Catholic high school as well. When I was a child in the 70's prom night was also a popular night for people to get engaged, a practice that has fallen away as people wait to marry.
• The kids who were on "that" kind of date were lost to their parents' expectations of Catholic virtue long before the prom arrived, and they didn't need a prom to do the Deed any more than any other Friday night out.
• These parents are OK with their kids getting a hotel room (usually paying for it) and rationalize it as some sort of drunk driving avoidance tactic. Ditto for the limo.
• When I was in school my best pal's dad threw the after-party at his own house. We all crashed there that night. Years later Ralph explained his modus operandi: he wasn't being a nice guy, he just did it so he'd know where we were all night.
• Canceling the prom is taking the easy way out instead of tackling these issues the previous four years.

It disturbs me when conservatives pick the wrong battles, and in my view they are in this case. People who object to what happens on prom night are targeting the symptom, not the cause. There are things to worry about on prom night even if your son or daughter are model citizens. However, you can't lock them in a basement. Worrying is part of the deal when you have children. Teenagers have to live their lives, and stealing landmark occasions from their youth because you are insecure about how well you've parented them over the years cheats everyone.

Comments

[Dave]

I detect a hint of libertarianism in this post. Perish the thought!

[ICallMasICM]

'It disturbs me when conservatives pick the wrong battles, and in my view they are in this case'

I've got to disagree with your interpretation on this one. First you're referring to the Catholic Church as 'conservatives' which is certainly true in some cases but not all. Secondly I would suggest teh practices and culture surrounding HS proms is contradictory to the teachings and beliefs of the Catholic church. they shouldn't be involved.