Bonfire of the Vanities CXXIX

This week I am happy to host the 129th version of Bonfire of the Vanities, where the bloggers of the world poke fun at themselves, or, as the sponsors at Wizbang! put it, we carnivalize the Worst of the Best of the Blogosphere. It is a celebration of excellence in mediocrity, and the Superbowl of lame posts from those who are typically better. All submissions were nominated by the authors themselves in a collective show of candor and, perhaps, contrition.

Each post shall be introduced in the authors' own words so as to give them every opportunity to dig their hole deeper. Since this is the last edition of Bonfire before December 25, Merry Christmas & Happy Chanukah to all-unless you are a striking MTA employee.

Lucky Bamboo. "Houseplants are always good story fodder, right? no? Ok, overzealous coworkers, they're funny, right? got your own, eh? Hmmm. I almost had my own pocketknife stuck into my thigh. I knew you'd like that." Mike eulogizes his desk bamboo.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! "As always, I'm submitting this article to the Bonfire because it contains vitally important information and not because it's another lame attempt to jack up my hit rate by talking about a more popular blogger." What did you expect from a cat?

Heh...he said "Boobies".... "I always knew women were dangerous, but...." Hey Jack, how do you feel about the ellipsis?

Spot the error? "What me being petty?" -Andrew. No Andrew, you aren't.

Podcast: Christmas on the Talk Shows. "Bigger bomb than KING KONG ." -Don

Christmas Fun #5. "Santa's big behind belongs in the Bonfire!"-Free Money

Sloth: I Confess. "Meme bad, post bad... " -Sinner. Also: Lust: Glenn; " So I make a snide comment about Prof. Reynolds... big deal... No only does he see it, but he links to another post of mine. Shame on me."

Response to a Response. "My lame and poorly executed attempt to continue a debate with a few readers. I'm just not smart enough to figure-out a solution to this dilemma using Blogger."-Early Riser

Step right up, 5 steps for financial success. Submitter: TT "uhm.  not sure what I was thinking, i added no value to this post. I was tired... yeah, that's it."

Nerd Alert. " Nerd Alert! Taylor at Fresh Politics laments his decision to skip studying in favor of rebuilding the Penn Indy website."

Ta da! Finished! Maybe? From mensa barbie: "I think I may have come across a new painting style...(by being too busy.)"

Recreating "Siege & Capture" And Stratego. "Wherein I pat myself on the back for past triumphs under the guise of giving someone a pat on the back."-Digger

Breakfast for Dinner. "I had a Friday of many gloomy posts. I needed to post something light hearted. Why not do a “What I had for dinner” post? Well, I did, complete with pictures."-Mike

No Relation. "Playing with Google Video I found this... yikes!  I hope I'm not related to this guy!!"-Peakah

The World's Best Pun. From Todd Smith, aka The Punsmith -"What could be more self-serving than judgeing your own pun as the 'World's Best Pun', especially if you're 'The Punsmith'.  "I judge, I jury" now turning to 'You judge, you jury'."

What would PeTA do? Kipper offers no explanation.

Real Poo. From Josh: "On boycotting shampoo."

WORK."I was working...duh."-David

On Humor. "There is something infinitely troubling about crossing Aristotle with Ren & Stimpy -- or so has my classicist wife informed me."- The MaryHunter

Dammit, I Wanted to Be First. "Why can't I think of the good jokes first?"- Brian

I hope you got a kick out of this week's edition of Bonfire. Thanks for visiting and have a wonderful Holiday Season.

Comments

[Peakah]

Nice work! Nice legs too!

[Captoe]

I'm between St. Vince and a chorus girl. [tears of joy flow.]
What more could a person ever ask? Two chorus girls and being carried off the field by my own squad of World Champion Packers, you say? Ah, well, I hadn't thought of that... [tears of joy cease.]

[mensa B]

~ Red guy in a Blue State hosts
the The Bonfire of the Vanities CXXIX... Now up!
~~~~~~~
Thank you so much... The worst never looked better. :D